Resting elbow
Rested elbow this week. It was starting to hurt at nite while sleeping.
Bummed out about leaving my job... I know I had to leave... but I put alot of energy and work into that place. I must keep telling myself it isn't the same company... post merger it is only a shell of what it once was. Either way it still is painful for me to leave...
I can't remember the last time I felt something so deeply (pain)... I know at some point I am just going to have a moment alone and have myself a deep sob and just let it all out. I have to mourn. This agonizing process of starting as a developer... taking over as manager of my department. Doubling the size of my department... gain greater responsibility... being told I would be making VP soon... THEN WHAMO... MERGER!
Not only will you not get to make VP you will be loosing your job. OK... nope we will keep you and let you retain 1/3 of your staff... well... ok maybe not... we lie... you don't get to keep any of your staff we are giving them to other managers... you can keep your salary and title but you get no responsibility. OH did we tell you... you have to report to this guy who really doesn't know what he is doing but he has been here for 20 years so he gets his chance to play manager now... oh yeah... and he got his manager position after we bought your company and after we knew you already managed a department of 6 people... after your former CIO advocated for you to be retained because you did such a good job... we don't care you are from Cleveland... not Rhode Island...
Oh and all the websites you have worked on and were retained to work on... you won't be working on them ever again after you migrate them to the new infrastructure... we will be hiring contractors...
That whole process of loosing everything I worked so hard to build... tested me... it tested my wife... I was drinking way to much throughout the roughest periods... Since I quit I haven't been drinking that much... maybe every 3 days or so... and in moderation...
All that being said... I really have never allowed myself to feel this loss... and now I have realized there is no future for me at this place and quit... I need to mourn... move on... allow myself to start again.
Bummed out about leaving my job... I know I had to leave... but I put alot of energy and work into that place. I must keep telling myself it isn't the same company... post merger it is only a shell of what it once was. Either way it still is painful for me to leave...
I can't remember the last time I felt something so deeply (pain)... I know at some point I am just going to have a moment alone and have myself a deep sob and just let it all out. I have to mourn. This agonizing process of starting as a developer... taking over as manager of my department. Doubling the size of my department... gain greater responsibility... being told I would be making VP soon... THEN WHAMO... MERGER!
Not only will you not get to make VP you will be loosing your job. OK... nope we will keep you and let you retain 1/3 of your staff... well... ok maybe not... we lie... you don't get to keep any of your staff we are giving them to other managers... you can keep your salary and title but you get no responsibility. OH did we tell you... you have to report to this guy who really doesn't know what he is doing but he has been here for 20 years so he gets his chance to play manager now... oh yeah... and he got his manager position after we bought your company and after we knew you already managed a department of 6 people... after your former CIO advocated for you to be retained because you did such a good job... we don't care you are from Cleveland... not Rhode Island...
Oh and all the websites you have worked on and were retained to work on... you won't be working on them ever again after you migrate them to the new infrastructure... we will be hiring contractors...
That whole process of loosing everything I worked so hard to build... tested me... it tested my wife... I was drinking way to much throughout the roughest periods... Since I quit I haven't been drinking that much... maybe every 3 days or so... and in moderation...
All that being said... I really have never allowed myself to feel this loss... and now I have realized there is no future for me at this place and quit... I need to mourn... move on... allow myself to start again.
2 Comments:
Dude, sorry to hear about the lay off. I was layed off before and it sucks but there is always something better just out of sight beyond the horizon so..
Buck up, buckaroo.
By
Zeeple, at 9:47 AM
Thanks... I know... what doesn't kill you... makes you stronger
By
jsobo119, at 7:57 PM
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