Resting elbow

Rested elbow this week. It was starting to hurt at nite while sleeping.

Bummed out about leaving my job... I know I had to leave... but I put alot of energy and work into that place. I must keep telling myself it isn't the same company... post merger it is only a shell of what it once was. Either way it still is painful for me to leave...

I can't remember the last time I felt something so deeply (pain)... I know at some point I am just going to have a moment alone and have myself a deep sob and just let it all out. I have to mourn. This agonizing process of starting as a developer... taking over as manager of my department. Doubling the size of my department... gain greater responsibility... being told I would be making VP soon... THEN WHAMO... MERGER!

Not only will you not get to make VP you will be loosing your job. OK... nope we will keep you and let you retain 1/3 of your staff... well... ok maybe not... we lie... you don't get to keep any of your staff we are giving them to other managers... you can keep your salary and title but you get no responsibility. OH did we tell you... you have to report to this guy who really doesn't know what he is doing but he has been here for 20 years so he gets his chance to play manager now... oh yeah... and he got his manager position after we bought your company and after we knew you already managed a department of 6 people... after your former CIO advocated for you to be retained because you did such a good job... we don't care you are from Cleveland... not Rhode Island...

Oh and all the websites you have worked on and were retained to work on... you won't be working on them ever again after you migrate them to the new infrastructure... we will be hiring contractors...

That whole process of loosing everything I worked so hard to build... tested me... it tested my wife... I was drinking way to much throughout the roughest periods... Since I quit I haven't been drinking that much... maybe every 3 days or so... and in moderation...

All that being said... I really have never allowed myself to feel this loss... and now I have realized there is no future for me at this place and quit... I need to mourn... move on... allow myself to start again.

Friday Tourney

I threw well at the friday tourney. I didn't get there in time for the singles but I got in on the blind draw doubles. We made it to the semi's and had 2 turns each to hit the double and just couldn't do it in our final game. We won the first two rounds by winning the 501 dido and cricket game. Both 501 games my partent got us in on his first turn and I got us out on my first dart at a double. In our last 4 x01 games my partner left me with 102. Nothing big about 102 I just thought it was interesting that 4 times in a row we ened up on my turn with 102 left.

After the tourney I played some Bob's 29. On my 6th game I finished with 189 and actually hit the double bull! It was a 4 count... I hit a single then another single. Both singles were just above the double. I used the first two and rode down then into the double.

100 @ new best

100 @20
Game 1: 74 (12 trips)
Game 2: 94 (14 trips)


In the second game I had 46 after 30 darts then went cold. I was thinking that I must have forgot to count a turn then added up my trips and went through the number of misses in my head and it balanced but I got out of rithm.

I almost had a 180 twice... first time I choked... second time the second dart bounced off the first one at a slight angle and caught the trip 1... 3 dart trip 20. Had several 2 trip turns.

100 @ Bulls
NEW PERSONAL BEST!!!! 51 with 10 doubles...

I started really strong hitting 10 in my first 9 and just missed a deadeye (it was in but the bounce off my first two flights kicked it out). Then had 20 after 30 darts. I had 46 with 13 darts left and didn't choke!

League

Warm up I was doing well... I thew a 24 dart 501 game and hit a 133. That is respectable... I threw so so. I played an ok doubles 501 game and took out 71. My cricket game stunk. and then I played doubles cricket and my partner carried me. I then played well in the team 801. I didn't throw great but solid 40's and an 85... set us up for the out from 52... hit the 20 and missed into the 8??? then missed the double 12 (just barely)...

We won... we then played killer for a couple bucks a man. Eight guys... and I won. I didn't throw amazing darts or anything infact I threw a bunch of 46's... (Aim 19 to beat 41 or 45 because if I hit a 7 I can still beat it by going up top & if I hit the first 2 I go 11/14)... I did however have a 40 that should have been a tun.. the board stunk... I was getting bounce outs on trip 20's all night... at first I thought it was wire bounce outs but then I noticed the sound was like hitting a bull...

I finished with a 64... trip 20 trip 1 single 1... that order...

Tourney... did well

Won my first match in singles tourney... against I guy a bit better than me at scoring... he soundly beat me at cricket. But I won both 01 games because he couldn't get out. Both 301 dido and 501 fido he had at least 2 turns to get out before I had my chance. I took out the 301 game with my first dart at a double. In the 501 game I missed my first time then hit 16 double 8 to win... In the next round I played the guy who won the tourney and had 9 darts at an out to win and just couldn't hit it... if I would have hit my first one it would have been a 13 dart 301 game.

In the blind draw I drew perhaps the weakest player from the singles tourney. I scored her first game. It took 10 turns for her opponent to get in and she didn't get in until he had attempted to throw double 13... for three turns... She ended up winning. The other guy was getting darts close but she was often hitting inside the trip ring when aiming at doubles... it wasn't unusual for her to hit a 9 or a 4 when aiming at 20...

So I figure we are toast. The first match in our 501 fido I got us in first dart and the other team took 3 turns to get in so we had a good head start. I think I took out 56 and they were on 90 something... cricket we won... my partner hit a trip 15 and a trip 16 with her last darts at critical points. I triped on 20,19,18 & 17... and she hit the last bull to win the game... on to round 2

We are playing a team with a guy that I have seen win the singles tourney and have seen him hit back to back 180's in a tourney. However... his partner is the other woman in the tourney. She is not too bad. You can count on her to hit 1 per turn in cricket and can hit bulls... she will hit some trips...

We were getting killed... they got in on the first try and it took us 3 turns to get in... they had 5 tries to get out before we got our chance... and I nailed it... got killed in cricket but came back to within 5 points but needed to hit a bull and 3 16's to win... and they needed 1 bull... The 501 free in game we got 100 points down but they couldn't hit 27... they guy kept trying to throw an 11 I think... but kept hitting the double... he had lost it... he threw his darts a few time... very poor sport... I ended up taking out 47 by throwing 17, double 15. Not sure why I did it that way I just new I could hit it and I didn't want to give them another chance...

Finals... We are playing a very good player and they guy I beat in singles. We managed to win the dido 501 because we got in first and managed a 100 point lead. They passes us and had 2 turns to double and then I hit taking out 87. We got trounced in the cricket game. We won the fido game because the other team couldn't double again... they missed 3 turns at it... and then I got 47... I tried it again 17... wire 15... dropped dart almost missed the board... I was rattled because I really thought the first one was in... they missed again... and then WHAM my partner hits it with the 1st dart. Winners! Go figure... well the top 3 of the top 4 in the singles didn't play the blind draw but still we won... Not with good darts just good doubles... and BAD.. BAD doubles by our opponents

League... did ok

My partner and I openend with a 25 dart 501 game... respectable for our league. I threw the points my partnet was stuck in the 40's... But he doubled us out 1st try.

I won my cricket game and my 501 game. I threw 121 which was an almost 180... deflected off the first two. I had trouble doubling out... couldn't hit the double 8 to save my live... ended up halving it down to double 1 but I had a big lead... even my opponent had 4 turns to double out and failed on 24, 12, 6 (2x)... I didn't really deserve to win but... in my not practicing for the last two weaks to let my elbow rest my doubles on the sides are shaky...

I threw well all nite... the difference today was that I wasn't nervous and I actually was hitting trips...

elbow slow down

Ok I am hitting more almost 180's at league 2 weeks in a row before and after... I finally settled down and wasn't shaky during my last game last week. first coulple of weeks in silver (move up in league) I was nervous... I think in bronze I was believing I was better and executing. In silver I have been against stronger oposition and not stepping up. I am past the nerves and will start throwing like I can...

ELBOW... 2 weeks of pain... no practicing. It is driving me crazy because I was so close to breaking through to another level... I did the bob's 29 thing and 100 @ 20's bests...

Oh well hopefully the rest will allow me to throw this weekend and get a little practice before our league Monday.